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The following are two pictures of "RUSSIAN" ice breakers, whose name I am sorry, I don't know. But, since this is about icebreakers I felt they should be included,along with two pictures of "CANADIAN" icebreakers, as they really are different than the "COAST GUARD" icebreakers, and the "RUSSIAN'S" are so very much larger.

This next "RUSSIAN"icebreaker shows you how it's very huge teeth "chews" up the ice like a hungry polar bear does an unlucky seal.

Of course I am only fooling, it's just some "RUSSIAN" tomfoolery painting in those teeth, but they really look formidable don't they?

Here is a true story about what one caring "SKIPPER" of the USS BURTON ISLAND decided to do for his crew.

Christmas is always some where in the ice, no shopping malls and no post office.

Since the ship was leaving on the first Southern cruise she had made, the "SKIPPER" unbeknownest to everyone drafted a letter to all families to shop early. It was July.

He requested they wrap them in pretty paper, with the crew members name on the out side of the package, then cover it with "brown" kraft stuff, mail it to me the Skipper, down in one corner scribble "Operation Holdout". Then he told them he would have the Chief Master At Arms "stow" it away and it will be there Christmas morning.

It was a big secret, only the "Skipper", the Chief and the mailman knew they were aboard.

The Chief chose two store rooms, two way down deep to hold them, telling every one he needed the space to store "whipping cream". No one questioned why he needed so much room.

That Christmas morning after anchoring in the ice, at "0400" thats 4am to you land lubbers, the "goodies" were brought up and put in the mess hall.

You should have seen the looks on the faces of the young, and not so young faces, when he began calling names.

There were some names not called, there were no presents, they tried to not show disappointment, but, not very well. It was only because they had no family to respond to the "Skippers" request.

Well, time passed by as it always does, and it was nearing time to make another Southern Cruise and the Skipper had an unexpected visitor. The mother of one of the crewman thanking him for what he had done for his "crew" the year before.

He of course was embarrassed but, thanked her and told her of the crewman who had not recieved presents the year before.

His tory repeats its self, and another Christmas and more ice. Morning and presents are passed out again only, this time a large box had the Skippers name on it.

He knew it wasn't his, but opened it and found to his surprise packages for the "sailors" who had no family from a very appreciative mother who had visited him before and had been touched by his story.

The next two pictures are the Canadian Icebreaker "Desgroseillier" operating in the ice.

For those of you who have never had a Sailor in your family let me tell you "WHAT IS A SAILOR". Between the innocence of baby hood, and the dignity of manhood, we find a delightful creature called a "Sailor".

All sailors have the creed: to kill as much time as possible of every minute, of every hour, of every day and to protest with noise. Their only weapon is the occasional fireing of guns and some times an airplane roaring over head.

Sailors are found every where, on the water, in fast moving cars, taverns and nightclubs. Look real hard and you will find them swinging from ropes, jumping through hatches and peeping through key holes.

Girls love them, soldiers hate them, cooks ignore them and the ship protects them. All sailors are truth, (with their fingers crossed), beauty in their uniforms, wisdom with their cigarettes in their socks and the hope of the future with a girl in their arms.

When you'r busy, they usually follow with a fantastic story of the sea or else where.

When you want him to make a good impression, his brain turns to jelly, or else he'll deny he is in the NAVY. A fine lad, this NAVY BOY!

He's not much at standing watch, having beans for breakfast, shining shoes, washing uniforms, Captains Mass or just plain work!!! Above all material things, a SAILOR likes GIRLS, strong drinks, comic books, nite clubs and MAIL CALL.

Nobody else gets so much fun out of talking, sea water or breezes. No one else has such small pockets with no place for poker chips, cards, a billfold or other personal belongings; but you cant lock him out of your heart.

You may get him to pay the bill once, but not all the time. Might as well give up, he's your captor, your jailer and your SAILOR; and when you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes and dreams, he can mend them like new with a letter that begins, "Hi Darlin"!

Yes, he is your SAILOR now......and no one else wants him!!!

Now for your viewing pleasure three more of those "lovely"icebreakers.

Since this is the last of my "sea" trip for you, I wanted all of you "land locked"sailors to have a little help in remembering what it was like to be at sea and how to pretend while you are here on dry land.

This is called "GOING TO SEA", and how you at home can simulate being deployed in sea going vessels.

  • #1 Sleep on the shelf in your closet.

  • #2 Repace the closet door with a curtain.

  • #3 Six hours after you go to sleep, have your spouse whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble. "Sorry wrong rack".

  • #4 Renovate your bathroom. Remove the door, build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level.

  • #5 When you take a shower, make sure you shut off the water while soaping.

  • #6 Everytime there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you're nauseous.

  • #7 Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and "set it on high".

  • #8 Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Also, have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one.

  • #9 (Mandatory for ex-engineering types): Leave a lawn mower running in your living room 24 hours a day for a proper noise level.

  • #10 Have a paperboy give you a hair cut.

  • #11 Once a week blow compressed air up through your chimney, making sure the wind carries the the soot across and on to your neighbors house. Laugh when he curses you.

  • #12 Buy a trash compactor and only use once per week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bath tub.

  • #13 Wake every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread.

  • #14 Make up your family menue a week ahead of time with out looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator.

  • #15 Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can, then run out into your yard and break out the garden hose.

  • #16 Once a month take every major appliance completely apart, then put them back together.

  • #17 Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or 6 hours before drinking.

  • #18 Invite at least 85 people that you don't really like to come and visit for a couple of months.

  • #19 Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie under it to read books.

  • #20 Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.

  • #21 Lock wire the lug nuts on your car.

  • #22 When making cakes, prop one side of one pan while the other is baking, then spred icing really thick on the lower side to level the top.

  • #23 Every so often throw your cat in to the swimming pool shout, "man over board, ship recovery"!, then run in to the kitchen and sweep all the pots/pans/dishes off the counter on to the floor. Then yell at your spouse for not having the place "stowed for sea".

  • #24 Put on the head phones from your stereo (don't plug them in). Go and stand in front of your stove. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove manned and ready". Stand there three or four hours. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove secured". Roll up the head phone cord and stow it away.

  • #25 Take a chipping hammer, go out to your car, chip off all the paint and "just because", repaint the entire car.

  • #26 Take a fifty-five gallon drum and remove the top ad the bottom, mount it on the rear deck of your home so you can have your own garbage chute.

  • Thank you for comeing on this "sea cruise" and I hope you enjoyed your trip. Please, don't forget to sign "the ships log", and tell all your friends about my cruises.